A German company recently filed patents for scented text messages. Immediately after, mobile media giants began sniffing around. They claim that in less than two years from now you’ll be sending up to 100 different prefabricated scents via an added accessory the size of an SD-card: the scent chip.

Imagine sending a pumpkin-SMS on Thanksgiving to relatives, ocean smells to friends when on vacation, or that romantic raunchy stench you’re enjoying in the gas station’s bathroom.

If you’re anything like me, you may think that the idea of accurately projecting smells may seem a little fishy. For years networks and would-be innovators have toyed with the concept of anchoring scents to TV. Yet it never quite stuck. Convisual says it has been developing the project for over eight years and plans to release the chips only when they become both affordable and effective.

The sense of smell is one of the first human perceptions that develops in the womb. You better believe advertisers understand that primal urge. Convisual understands too. A built-in function gives you the option to reject messages based on the sender. Make no mistake, whether they are advertisers or telecom giants, companies are feral. And they’re waiting to waft their way into your wallet.

When you post a picture of yourself on the internet you usually want it to reflect how good looking and awesome you are. Posting an image on a social networking site may not yield a second thought. Yet a bad picture on an online resume or dating site could really blow your chances for a dream career and a hot mate.

So who do you run to? Friends might think you’re shallow for asking or end up giving you approval on photos that just don’t work. Luckily for you a new application called FaceStat sums you up based on just one picture. Attributes include age, gender, ethnicity, weight, relationship status, wealth, intelligence, intoxicated, trustworthiness, humor and attractiveness.

The company, Dolores Labs, relies on Amazon’s Mechanical Turk to collect data from dozens of strangers just waiting to judge you. You get one photo analysis per day. Pictures can be uploaded from your hard drive or pulled from FaceBook, and results take a few hours.

It’s an interesting social project. But then again, anything beginning and ending with you usually is. I thought so when I submitted a picture of what I thought was my chiseled abs, stunning features and million dollar smile. Turns out I’m not very trustworthy.

Ready for the freshest cup of coffee you’ve ever had? Roasting Plant Coffee Company in New York wants to serve it to you, with a tea spoon of ingenuity. They have created a modern robotic system called Javabot with the intention of creating the freshest, most flavorful cup of coffee available.

Walking into their store feels like stepping through a portal to the future. There are pneumatic tubes overhead transporting several variates of coffee beans to and fro. Grinding gears, a roasting station and brewing machines all whiz and whirl. Just as you begin to adjust to the all the visual and auditory stimulus, you are bombarded with the rich smells from this way and that.

If you’re delighted with all the myriad choices Starbucks offers, you are bound to be in heaven within the confines of this engineering marvel. They have blends that can range upwards of eight beans, you specify the roasting process, and determine the temperature levels at which the coffee is processed. No idea which coffee is best suited to your tastes? The machine will make minute adjustments on your behalf and have 3 samples for you to choose from.

Javabot’s turnover and potential profit must have a few investors licking their chops. It’s a company aimed to produce a highly-customized product at a consistent quality, all in about 30 seconds. You walk in, place your order, and less than a minute later you have the perfect cup of Joe in hand and ready to soldier on into another day of stimulant assisted living.

Their first store in New York is a prototype. But I have a feeling once more people experience the machine they’ll be coming back in droves, with franchise checks in hands.

 

It sits there, that harmless new kit at your corner drugstore, the paternity test will set you back $30. You buy it, swab some samples from yourself, your kid and your significant other. Maybe you bought it because you needed a random health screening or a way to settle a legal dispute? So you follow the instructions and send it out in the mail along with additional lab fees. A short while later you receive a definitive answer as to who little Johnny’s real dad is.

The reason so many fathers will be speechless when they receive the results is because they’ll then look down at the child they’ve loved and raised.  Realization will slowly sink in that his child is not biologically his own. A staggering 1 in every 25 tests proves that these men who have given their lives to their family have been cuckolded.

Identigene is the company responsible for manufacturing and placing the product on the shelves. The original fees paid to receive the results do not include legal documentation, such as divorce, custody, child support, inheritance, or other legal cases.

On a side note, I always found it interesting that in ancient times (notably with the pharaohs of Egypt)  the kings would usually have to marry their sister. That way the family knows that at minimum 50% of the bloodline is still in tact. That was to hedge against some other handsome suitor slipping one pass the goalie on the kings watch.

I guess human behavior hasn’t changed much. At least now we’ll have an affordable means to apply these simple scientific concepts. It will radically change the way we think about childbirth and paternity in modern sociology.

College students build one of the most advanced forms of artificial intelligence and what do they do with it? Have it rank how hot girls are. Typical, right?

An Israeli team of computer scientists have designed a system that can actually make aesthetic judgments. It started with a research group that was formed on campus. Thirty people were told to rate girl’s faces on a scale from 1-7. The pictures were then scanned and mapped mathematically.

Results of that scan revealed that out of all of the girls rated there was a pattern for facial features we humanoids consider “hot.” Those features consisted of things like averages, symmetry, color proportions and smoothness.

Our judgments about what a good looking girl looks like is based on sentiment and abstract considerations.  Needless to say, this is a pretty big step for a computer. It learned to identify beauty by observing human perceptions. That was based on processing some data instead of using a prescribed set of parameters.  After it ran it’s due course the computer came up with answers that were shockingly similar to the research study.

They say that the machine is still having some trouble with men. If you ask me, a guys attractiveness has always been as simple as one variable: income. Good thing those computer scientists are in for some big bucks after this invention.